Together Again
by Rampantt
Summary: Shoutaro's mother has died and he has to go back to Kyoto for the funeral.
1. Death in the family

**Together Again**

**By KawaiixKisses**

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**Shoutaro**

It probably would have been better if I had left her there in Kyoto. That's is after all where she belonged. I wouldn't have been suffering like this. I wouldn't have had to see her even when I didn't want to. She would have faded into the back of my mind, a forgotten memory. She would have met a some local man and married him and took over the Fuwa Inn without me. I could have handled that. Actually, nothing seemed more perfect than that.

But now, due to the mistakes I made, I'm forced to see her constantly. She is everywhere, her presence is omniscient - I can't seem to escape her. I am haunted by the past, her voice is always filling the air. I have come to memorise the lines I here her say in the movies and dramas she chooses to do. I was content with sharing her with a man from Kyoto because I knew that deep down, she would still belong to me. However, now, I had to share her with the world.

The possessive side of me was obnoxiously overbearing. I hated the attention she was getting. I did not like that so many eyes got to lay upon her. I didn't want to know just how many men wouldn't mind a date with her (I learned from a poll in some corny magazine). I wanted her to be back in Kyoto, where I was sure she would have gone unnoticed, blended into the ordinary until there was nothing truly special about her. That's what I wanted. That's what was best for me. I honestly, I don't care if she's happy. Truly I don't.

It was normal day in my life, my schedule unforgiving and calling for me to be in at least three places at once. Shouko, my manager, and I weren't at all phased by the work-load, it was something we had come to expect. I was, after all the most famous pop-star in all of Japan. My fame was slowly spreading across the ocean, my name popping up in Hong Kong and even South Korea. As it was, my life was good. I was only 19, but I had a promising future. I could, at anytime chose to retire from the Show Biz scene and still be able to live a rather lavished life - my records where selling a lot better than even I had expected.

I was getting ready in the dressing room granted to me by the producers of _Live: with SACHI _- I was to do an interview soon - when Shouko came in, her expression unreadable. Something in her eyes was telling me that something was wrong, that things were not okay.

"What is -"

She hadn't let me finish speaking before she handed me a letter. I opened it, noticing the fancy handwriting scribbled inside belonged to my father. Vaguely, I wonder what it was about. My parents had not contacted me at all since I left for Tokyo. It must have been something important then.

_Dear Shoutaro,_

_Over the last few years our relationship has been...strained, for lack of a better word. I am unsure of whether or not you will even read this... I do not know if you bother with reading fan-mail... Probably conversation, I wish we could have had over the phone or better yet in person. I'm sorry son... Your mother has passed away -_

I couldn't read the rest of the letter, my vision had gone blurry. My hands were quaking, the letter crumpling in my hands. All at once, my world had shattered, broken into a million, tiny little pieces. I hadn't planned on this, I hadn't expected my mother to die so soon.

"He wants you to come home for the funeral next week."

I looked up to find Shouko staring at me. Now I recognized what feelings her face was conveying, it was pity. No one had ever pitied me before.

"Cancel today's appearance."

I was surprised by how soft and hoarse my voice was.

"We're leaving now."

**Kyouko**

I hadn't forgotten what my home had looked like. In fact, I remembered everything like I had never left it. It was peaceful there, no busy traffic, no flashing lights, no scheming people. No, Kyoto was so much different from Tokyo. I missed it there.

I was deeply saddened when I received a letter from Ojisan. I had known Obasan was sick, but I hadn't been expecting her death. I had kept in contact with Obasan over the years, we chatted over the phone when every my schedule allowed it, but mostly through letters. She would always ask me of work and how Shoutaro was doing - I had learned from her that he never called home - and each time I would tell her that he was doing fine, not that I really knew. I hadn't told her of how Shoutaro and I were now estranged, I didn't want the poor, sick woman to worry. I knew that she was pained by her son's absence. Talking to me wasn't enough to quell the ache the woman was feeling.

I entered the Fuwa Inn, walking past the woman who was seated behind the familiar desk. She looked up at me, her eyes widening slightly. She must have recognized me despite the pair of large sunglasses I donned over my nose.

"Kyouko! It's really you!"

I stopped in my tracks, unable was I to pretend that I hadn't heard her. I would have, had my shoulders not tensed and gave me away. I turned to her, a pleasant smile adorning my features as I pulled the shades away from my face.

"Hello," I greeted her formally - just because I am a star does not mean that I had forgotten my manners.

I watched as the young girl scurried away from her work station and rushed over to me.

"I had heard rumors that you had really lived here but I wasn't sure if it was true or not. I mean, you never said anything in all the interviews I've seen you in. But since you are here now that only proves it!" she squealed.

I smiled at her as she continued to ramble on and on. It was obvious to me then that I wouldn't be able to hide here in Kyoto. I'm not sure why I had even gotten that notion. It was a small town yes, but the people here still had TVs, they still knew what was going on in the rest of the world.

"Yes, I did live here - for a while actually. I'm glad to see that the place hasn't changed too much," I said, my amber hues looking about.

"Hn!" the girl exclaimed. "Oh! I'm Haruko, I work here. Well, I suppose you already knew that, right? Oh! Let me take your bags!"

Before I realized it, Haruko was reaching for my bags and pulling them away, yammering on about showing me to a room.

"Is Sho coming too," I heard her say as she brought my bags into one of the many guests rooms.

"Probably." _Shoutaro's a jerk but he isn't a monster, he wouldn't skip out on his own mother's funeral..._

But then, how would I know? To me, Shoutaro was a stranger, someone I didn't know too well. So really, I wasn't capable of making a judgement like that. He could very well be a monster.

"Ne, Haruko-chan, where's Fuwa-ojisan?"

Haruko beamed at me , probably excited that I had called her in such a friendly manner.

"In his office, I'll show you the way."

"No, need, I know where it is," was my pleasant reply.

Haruko smiled at me still, lingering in the doorway as if unsure of what to do or say next. Seemingly giving up, she turned and hurried away but not before saying something about fetching tea for the guests.

I smiled after the girl. There was no doubt in my mind that she was a good server. Sure, it was ideal for her to be a bit more reserved, but I didn't hold it against her, she was probably just a bit starstruck.

I freshened up a bit before making my way down the halls, carefully to avoid attracting too much attention and headed off to find the older Fuwa. When I met with his office, I slowly slid the door open but not before knocking and gaining permission first.

There sat the older Fuwa. He was dressed in a traditional yutaka - the blue material hanging loosely to his body. His face was a mature version of Shoutaro's, strong and handsome with a bit of facial hair dusting across his chin and jaw. He looked up at me, his deep blue eyes filled with sorrow and woe, he looked forlorn, lost, no doubt the loss of his lover weighing heavy on his mind and heart.

I paced over to him and he met me half way, burying me in a hug once I was in arm's length. I wrapped my arms around him, patting his back lightly before we broke away.

"How is Tokyo," he asked me, his voice deep and masculine as I had remembered it being.

"It is good, but more importantly, how are you?"

"Not so good," he answered honestly, "her death... It's really... hard to bare with."

I nodded my head in understanding. It was hard. Obasan was not my mother, but she had raised me as if she was. Losing her, felt like losing my mother. Some part of me wished, still does, that I could have been born to Ojisan and Obasan.

"I'm surprised to not see Shoutaro with you," came his voice after the silence had set in.

"Hn. He and I are not living together, but he should be here soon no doubt."

The older Fuwa looked at me, his brow arching. He was probably wondering why exactly Shoutaro and I were not together. He probably still had it in his mind that Shoutaro and I were perfect for each other.

"I see."

That was all the old man said before sitting back and sipping a bit of sake.

**Shoutaro**

I still don't know why, but I was surprised to see her there. I know that Kyouko had been close with my family but for some reason, seeing her there was something I hadn't expected.

"You're late, Shoutaro..." she said, looking up at me.

There was challenge in her eyes as there always was. She enjoyed bickering with me, at least that what I thought at the time. But now I'm beginning to see that us fighting was just a sense of normality between the two of us. It wasn't something we could help. It just happened.

"Yeah well, I can't control the weather now can I?"

I had wanted to get there earlier, but there was storm. The damn thing hindered my leaving Tokyo sooner. She of course didn't seem to accept that.

"Hmph! Any good son would have been here regardless of the weather."

She must have known how ridiculous that sounded. No plane was going to fly during a storm no matter what Fuwa Show had to say about it. I was ready to tell her that but I became distracted by a pair of eyes staring into the back of my head. I spun around, my eyes landing on a girl, no more than 13 staring up at me.

"Sh-sh-sh... SH-SH-SH! SHHHH! SHO!"

The wind was knocked out of me as she ran forward, her body slamming into mine. Her thin arms wrapped around my middle, pulling herself closer to me. Worriedly, my blue eyes traveled over to where Kyouko stood, trying to hide her amusement at the situation.

"Kyouko... Who is this?" I asked, trying to free myself from the girl's death grip.

"That is Haruko, she tells me that she is your number one fan."

Judging by the way her eyes gleamed, I could tell she was really enjoying my discomfort. I tried to pry the girl's arms from around me but now matter what I did she just held on tighter.

"Haruko-chan, let's let Shoutaro go and meet with his father, I'm sure they have things to catch up on... He hasn't been home in a while."

Just the way she was saying it told me she was trying to make me feel guilty. She wanted me to feel bad about being too busy to pay my parents a visit. I knew it. I felt bad enough about not being able to say goodbye to my mother, she didn't have to rub it in my face.

Haruko obeyed and let me go, hurrying behind Kyouko like some kind of pet as she walked away. I watched her leave, unable to tear my gaze away from her. It had been a long time since I had last seen her. We were both so busy that we hadn't once run into each other. It was almost two months since our last encounter. I missed her. But of course, I wasn't yet willing to admit that out loud, hell, I didn't even want to admit it to myself.

No longer lingering, I turned to find Shouko standing there. I had forgotten that she had come along with me. Her eyes stared into mine, a small knowing smile playing at her lips. At the time, I thought nothing of it but instead headed to my father's office, leaving Shouko behind with another young girl a bit older than Haruko to show her to a room.

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_Yay another ShoxKyouko story! Woot, Woot! :D I wrote this story because idk I like Kyouko and Shoutaro, I believe that they should work out their problems, get together and make a bunch of Kyoutaro babies! haha anyway, not a oneshot, mabye some lemons in the future, idk... lol i don't know Shoutaro's parents' names so they'll just be "Fuwa" "Ojisan" "Obasan" "Mom" and "Dad" lol oh and please R&R :D_


	2. Mother

**_Hello there! I know, I know, it's taken me a while to get back to this. I wasn't sure how to continue - where to go after chapter one. Also I wasn't very motivated to continue on. This may not get as many hits as my other stories (i.e. CME and AFL) but I'm going to continue it with as much passion as I devote to my other tales. Anyway, enough from me. Enjoy onegai!_**

**Together Again**

_KawaiixKisses_

Mother

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**Shoutaro**

The ceremony was painfully long, everyone drawing out their farewells with tears and sobs. My father was the one who surprised me the most however. He hadn't stopped crying since the day had begun. No, it was body-shaking, breath-taking sobs, they were silent tears. I had never known my father to be an emotional man, he usually opted to leave explaining his feelings to my mother. I had known that my father loved my mother dearly, but seeing him then, crying as he was made it all the more real.

"So you're really gone then," I whispered, setting a white rose down beside her picture once everyone had left.

Her image was silent however, giving me no comfort at all. I stared at her for hours probably, burning the image of her smiling face into my memory. Even then, as my brain processed the fact that she was gone, my heart still wasn't ready to believe it. I kept waiting for her picture to talk to me, to tell me that I was dreaming, that none of this was real and I'd wake up in my bed back in Tokyo. No such thing occurred but for hours I kept wishing, hoping that it would.

I wasn't ready to give up my mother. There were still so many things I had to tell her. I wanted to show her how successful my music career was. I wanted to take her to Shanghai for her birthday this winter like she had wanted. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. But I was never going to get a chance to do any of those things – I had waited too long.

"Oka-chan… I'm sorry," I said softly to her image, my eyes trained on her matching blue orbs.

I missed her already. I felt so lost, like a part of me had been torn out, as if I was missing a page in my life's book. What was I supposed to do now? While it hadn't looked like it, my mother was everything to me. She was the one person I knew would always love me. Even after everything I had done, all the hearts I had broken and lies I had told, my mother would still love me. I was an angel in her eyes and nothing I could possibly do would ever cause her not to love me. Even though I hadn't seen her in years, she still wrote to me because she loved me.

I'd give anything to hear her voice at the moment. Anything to hear her call me 'Sho-chan.' Knowing she wasn't some place on this earth was devastating.

I hadn't even noticed that I wasn't alone anymore, I was far too wrapped up in my self-pitying.

"Shoutaro."

Suddenly I met the honey gaze of the woman my mother wanted me to be with. Kyouko.

Her delicate hand was placed on my shoulder, her eyes filled with concern. Despite the bickering that she and I went through, I wasn't surprised to see her there. Even though we were 'sworn enemies' I had always known that deep down, if I ever needed her, she'd be there for me – just as I'd be there for her.

She was my oldest friend. The person who knew me best in this world. She knew what to say to make me happy and what to say to tick me off. She knew what I liked from what I didn't. She knew when I was bluffing from when I was serious. Ups and downs. Flaws and perfections. She knew them all. No one else would ever know me the way Kyouko did.

Everyone knew me as 'Fuwa Sho' the pop star or 'Sho' the high school heartthrob. Only she knew who Fuwa Shoutaro was. Only she knew me and still sort of liked me.

I stared at her for a while, studying the planes of her face. She had definitely grown since we were children. No longer did she look like the girl who clung to me mercilessly, showering me with unwanted love and always hanging out at my house. She looked like a woman I couldn't recognize. A stranger, who coincidentally couldn't stand me, but was there now, comforting me because she knew I needed her.

I wasn't sure when it happened or how it started out, but all of a sudden she was wrapped in my arms, her body being crushed to mine.

I buried my face in her long, auburn hair, taking comfort from her smell. The feel of her body pressed against my succeeding in calming me slightly.

I could feel her hesitating at first, as if unsure of how to respond to my sudden actions. I didn't care though; as long as she allowed me to hold onto her for a while then it was okay. But she relaxed eventually, her hands sliding up and down my back, just as my mother used to when I was young.

I held her close, listening to her as she began humming softly to me.

"_You'll find love and you'll find peace – and the you you're meant to be,_" she sang softly to me, her fingers sliding gently through my hair.

I needed that. At the time, she was unaware of how her simple words impacted me. How her touch soothed me. She had no idea at that time how much her being there meant to me. A flood of emotions rushed through me, some of them I couldn't even identify.

"You're going to be okay, Shoutaro," she whispered softly to me.

"I hope so."

* * *

**Kyouko**

It was a bright, sunny morning in Kyoto and everything seemed peaceful. Haruko had just finished taking me for a tour of my old home. I was actually surprised to see that nothing had changed, the people were the same, the locations, and everything was exactly how I left it. It felt good to be home.

"Kyouko-chan is really popular," Haruko commented as we walked into the Fuwa-Inn.

On our little tour I had been surrounded by old faces who wanted a chance to meet 'Kyouko' again. I couldn't help but wonder how greatly their view of me changed now that I was famous. Before when I was plain old Mogami Kyouko I was nothing but the bastard child of a woman who abandoned her home town. No one wanted anything to do with me. I was isolated all my life. Even the girls who once gave me a hard time in grade school were all smiling in my face, exclaiming about how much they enjoyed '_Box R_' and '_Tsugumori_'. It was amazing how my fame changed their perspective.

"Ha ha, yeah I guess so, huh?" I said to her, smiling softly as I slipped off my shoes and on the guest slippers.

"Definitely! I wonder how many autographs you signed today…" she said to me.

I watched as the worker fell silent, her face growing thoughtful as she possibly thought about it.

I only smiled at her, shaking my head a bit.

"How about I show you how to make _sukiyaki* _tonight?"

Haruko's face lit up as she stared at me. "Hn!"

"Okay, you go in the kitchen and get everything set up and I'll be right in there, ne?"

Haruko nodded her head and headed off to the kitchen, ready to cook.

I made my way over to Shoutaro's room. He had been locked up in there all day and quite frankly I was worried about him.

Lightly, I knocked on the door to his room and just as I expected there was no response from him. I took that as reason enough to invite myself in.

"Shoutaro?" I called, stepping over the threshold and into his room.

The blonde was seated on the other side, lightly stroking an old guitar of his. His blue eyes were fixed on the strings, paying no attention to me whatsoever. After our 'embrace' a few nights before Shoutaro had said very little to me and I was actually a little worried. I didn't speak though; I merely shut the door behind me and sat down across from him on the bed.

The blonde only continued to strum his guitar; lightly humming a song I could remember. We sat like that for a few minutes, neither of us speaking. I could sense him relaxing a little as the song went on, as if he was relieved to have me there with him. I never would have thought that he and I would be like that again, not after the nasty way things had ended between us.

I never really hated Shoutaro I was just heartbroken. No longer was I focused on revenge because my feelings for him were resolved, at least I thought they were. Something about us sitting together in his room, me listening and him playing his guitar reminded me of our childhood, how things used to be between us and I could feel the emotions I once held for him slowly coming back, piece by piece.

"I wrote this a while ago…" he said after a while.

I nodded my head, allowing him to continue if he wanted to.

"I wasn't sure what it meant at first – as strange as it sounds – but I think now… it might have been for my mom."

All the while, he had been strumming his guitar, humming what I learned later was the chorus. It was a pretty ballad, its notes slow and deliberate, the words catchy yet heartfelt. It was then that I remembered what a good songwriter Shoutaro was.

"_And where are you now? __Now that I need you? __Tears on my pillow. __Where ever you go, I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean – you'll never see me fall apart…_"

The look he had in his eyes that night was unlike any I have ever seen him make. He looked so broken – lost without his mother to guide him anymore. A part of me wished I knew how to fix it, how to repair Fuwa Sho. The selfish part of me wanted him back so that we could bicker. I wanted to see him annoyed, have him yell at me. I knew how to handle such a Shoutaro. But this, this was different. What did one say to a broken man? I wasn't sure, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I stayed with him.

"_I'm there at your side,  
I'm part of all the things you are  
But you've got a part of someone else  
You've got to find your shining star_"

I watched as his shinning blonde hair hung over his eyes, creating a veil to hide his broken expression. But I knew what was behind it. I knew he was fighting back the tears, not for shame, not for pride, but for denial. He still wasn't ready to admit that his mother was really gone; he wasn't ready to move on. And that was okay. I wasn't rushing him. No one was. He could take all the time he needed and no one would force him to do anything else.

"-chan?"

I looked up from him, my eyes trained on the door as it slid open.

"Kyouko-chan? There you are! I was waiting forever – "

Haruko stopped herself as her gaze shifted to the blonde beside me.

"Sho-kun?"

"Ah, Haruko! Let's leave Shoutaro alone, ne?" I said to her, smiling softly and rising to my feet.

The worker watched him for a little bit before nodding her head and walking away. I followed after her, but not leaving before looking back at Shoutaro.

"I'll bring you something to eat when it's ready."

The male said nothing to me, nor did he acknowledge that he heard me. He merely strummed his guitar, singing out the rest of his mother's song softly into the air.

"Kyouko-chan, what's wrong with Sho?" Haruko asked me as I came into the kitchen.

I smiled weakly at her, not wanting to worry her too much. "Shoutaro's still a little upset about his mom. He'll be okay though, he's strong."

Haruko watched me for a moment, reading my face for a sign of deceit, obviously accepting what she saw there the working nodded her head and returned to the raw beef she had set out for them to prepare.

"Have you seen Oji-san?"

Haruko shook her head a bit. "Haven't seen him since the ceremony."

I let out a soft sigh. "Okay. First thing's first. We need to season the beef."

* * *

**Shoutaro**

I don't remember how long I had locked myself in my room for. The days just seemed to fly by, blending slowly into one another. I sat there for hours, just playing my old guitar. It was nothing special about it, it was like any other guitar I had ever owned. The thing that made it so important to me was that my mother had bought it for me. I remember the day vividly:

I had been playing some beat up old guitar a guest had left behind. It only had three strings and I could barely play it. My father teased me relentlessly about the thing, claiming that there would be no need for guitar playing when I took over the Inn. I didn't let him bother me though, I just kept on strumming that old thing, playing the music that only I understood. My mother walked in on me one day while I was out back practicing in front of Kyouko. She looked at me, her almond eyes studying my face for a while before she proceeded.

"_Sho-chan_" I remember her calling out to me.

She smiled brightly at me, her eyes twinkling as if she had a secret only she knew about. Then she presented it to me. It was the happiest day of my childhood and I'll never forget it.

Shamelessly I let out a small, struggled sob as the memories of my mother flooded in on my thoughts.

"Oka-chan…"

Before I realized it the tears were flooding from my eyes, spilling over and sliding down my cheeks. I couldn't stop, there was no use fighting it. I leaned my head back, my teary eyes staring up at the ceiling of my old bedroom.

"Shoutaro?" came a voice that I recognized all too well.

Quickly I regained my composer, drying my eyes on my sleeve as the door slid open.

"I brought you something to eat," Kyouko said to me, her hazel eyes watching me carefully.

I nodded, afraid my voice would betray me.

I watched as she brought in the food, a little surprised to see two plates in her hands. The actress sat beside me pacing a plate to me with a small smile.

"_Itatakimasu" _she said softly before carefully guiding the food into her mouth with her chopsticks.

I knew she was aware of my weakness. I knew she knew that I had been crying. I was grateful that she didn't comment on it, she only sat with me and ate, allowing me the comfort of her presence as well as the silence she offered. I needed both.

We went on like that for a while before she finally spoke.

"Yum. I haven't made that in a while."

I nodded. It had indeed been delicious. I had forgotten how good of a cook Kyouko was. The time part from her had allowed me to forget a few things. I remembered thinking at that moment that she would make a good wife.

"Shoutaro?"

I looked at her for the first time that night. "Hn?"

"You're face… its red. Do you have a fever?" she questioned, placing her hand to my forehead.

I allowed the feel of her soft hand to comfort me for a while before I removed it. "No."

I stared down at her fingers, marveling in the contrast between hers and mine. Her fingers were slender and porcelain while mine were slightly callused and tan.

"What wrong?" she asked me, her eyes searching my face.

I looked at her, watching the hazel in her eyes as it searched mine for answers. I shook my head a little, leaning in slowly.

I wasn't sure at the time what I was doing or what force was causing me to move in on her like I was, but I couldn't stop it. I wanted to see what she would feel like, what she would taste like. She didn't stop me either; she just stared up at me with parted lips, possibly waiting to accept my kiss. I watched as her now half lidded eyes slowly closed, her head tilting up slightly.

_Good girl… _I remember thinking.

I hadn't processed the thought until much later, long after I had pressed my lips to hers.

* * *

**_ I do so hope you all enjoyed that. I liked writing it. I sense romance-a-brewin' lol Review onegaishimasu!_**


	3. Mine

_**Hello there, thanking for clicking the link to this story. I'm glad you all have returned! Anyway... On to the story, ne?**_

* * *

**Together again**

_KawaiixKisses_

_(Muah)_

... is mine.

* * *

**Kyouko**

I loved him. At one point in my life he was the center of my world, the very reason I breathed. He was everything to me, everything I could ever possibly hope for. While it hadn't looked like it, I was positive he and I would be together forever. We'd live peacefully in Kyoto where we'd get married, have children and finally grow old together – it seemed like the ideal plan. I was well aware of the fact that it would be hard to claim his heart as my own, but he was worth it, Shoutaro was worth my effort. I just had to be patient. I had to give him time because I knew that one day he'd see that I was perfect for him. That's what should have happened anyway.

I had always known he wanted to become a pop star and I had truly believed in him. My Shoutaro had talent, potential and star power – I knew he'd make it. While it saddened me, I was willing to let him go away to Tokyo without me; I would be waiting for him in Kyoto. I'd go to all of his concerts and buy all of his albums; I'd be the best at making him happy and adding to his success as an artist. I was greatly surprised when he asked me to accompany him to Tokyo. Being the optimist that I was, I assumed that meant he realized just how much he needed me, that he understood that I was important to him and that fighting it – trying to escape fate – was futile. I wasn't at all upset about missing the opportunity to attend high school; instead I was perfectly content with working three jobs to support his career. None of that mattered to me, or at least they didn't matter as much as his happiness did.

Endlessly I worked, fighting hard for him, for us. I truly believed that it would all pay off and he and I would be happy together once his career took off. But then, he started staying out later than usual. I asked him about it and he told me he was practicing with his label. I accepted that answer and allowed myself to believe still that it would get better. Then it got to the point where he wouldn't come home for days, then weeks at a time. Of course, being as stupidly in love with a fantasy, I continued to believe and work tremendously hard for him, giving him every last dime I had. Then finally, he left me. Just like that. He was gone. I wasn't good enough for him. I didn't 'fit in' with his new lifestyle. I was just a reminder of the life he didn't want back in Kyoto. He didn't want to get married, have children and grow old with me – or with anyone for that matter. I wasn't important to him as he was to me. My happiness was not as crucial as his own.

It was devastating. My heart broke into a million tiny pieces that day as he publicly dumped me. I couldn't understand it – why wasn't I good enough? Why was my love and devotion to him not enough? He said I was plain and boring. Plain and boring. The words stung. How could he? The person who was supposed to know me best, how could he say such things? I guess he never really knew me; after all the years we spent around each other, we were still strangers it seemed.

I pledged revenge against him that day, swore in front of many on lookers that he would pay for how he humiliated me. I would rise to the top, trample over his fame with my own and make him wish he had never met me. Yes, it was a good plan. I had to get scouted first and that was something I was not willing to wait on so instead of waiting for talent agencies to find me, I found them. LME. It was perfect. LME rivaled the talent agency Shoutaro worked for, it was as if I would be adding insult to injury - which really wasn't too bad of an idea. After getting accepted into LME, ironically I became acquainted with the one man Shoutaro hated above all else - Tsuruga Ren.

He hated me at first and I couldn't understand why. Every time he looked at me, his eyes would narrow and his nose wrinkle just slightly, unless of course he was giving me that scary fake dazzling smile of his. But as time went on and he truly got to know me, he began seeing me in a different light, we were almost friends. It wasn't long before Tsuruga adopted me as his _kohai _and with his help my career as an actress began taking off i ways that I never dreamed possible. Before long I was being recognized as a decent actress, someone the Japanese people should look out for. Even though I swore revenge against Shoutaro, even though my vendetta against him was strong at first, I felt myself slipping. No longer was I doing things for everyone else, I truly felt like acting was just for me. True, I had only begun acting because of Shoutaro but it was still something that belonged to me, something no one could take away from me. Finally I felt like I had something that was my own, something I did because it made _me _happy. After that revelation, my need to surpass Shoutaro decreased and slowly all the feelings of love/hate disappeared - that didn't mean however that I wouldn't enjoy bickering with him from time to time.

It wasn't until his lips met mine for the second time in my life that all of those feelings came rushing back. It was like reality knocked on my front door and slapped me in the face once I opened it. I wasn't over Shoutaro, I couldn't possibly be. Not when I had _wanted _him to kiss me. Not when I couldn't _resist _kissing _him _back. I remember it perfectly even to this day. I can still feel the way his lips moved over mine, coaxing small moans of approval from my throat. I can still feel his hands in my hair, pulling my face closer to his and making it impossible for me to pull away even if I wanted to. The taste of his mouth, the warmth of his body... I still remember. I liked it. I didn't want to stop. But once again reality slapped me, sending my eyes open. What was I doing?

I pulled away from him suddenly, my brain finally processing my grave error. His eyes opened slowly to look at me, his brow arching in confusion. I shook my head nervously, my voice failing to give him a decent answer. Taking that as an okay to continue, he moved in closer to me, fully intent on kissing me yet again but I pulled back before he could.

"What's wrong?" he asked finally, pulling away from me.

"It's... it's nothing; I'm a little tired."

He gave me an odd look, one that probably meant he knew I was lying. I was grateful though that he didn't comment as I stood up and hurried away. I remember thinking that kiss couldn't have meant anything to him - he was just feeling lonely. That's all. What would Shoutaro have wanted from me? Certainly not anything romantic. While I did feel sorry for him, I wasn't about to allow him to abuse my emotions nor use me as a way to make himself forget about his troubles, not like that anyway.

* * *

**Shoutaro**

So maybe kissing her was a mistake. I'll admit that. But did she have to act like that? How was it that she thought she could just ignore me in my own house? If I wasn't sure if I knew her or not before, I was certain of that now. She had done everything in her power to avoid being alone with me ever since that point. In fact if she could avoid being in the same room as me period she would. She at her food as quickly and politely as she could at breakfast, lunch and dinner simply to avoid me. If she thought I was going to sit next to her somewhere she'd I'd either leave the room or sit some place else. Honestly she behaving as if I had the plague or cooties for godsake. That wasn't all though, whenever I tried to speak to her she would act as if I wasn't there, as if she hadn't heard a thing. By the end of the week she had really started to get on my nerves.

"Don't pout so much, your face will get stuck like that," Shouko said to me one afternoon.

I hadn't known I was pouting at the time, but that didn't stop me from frowning on purpose in her direction. The blonde merely smiled at me as she continued packing her clothes into the suitcase. We were leaving that day. The word of my mother's death had quickly caught Japan's attention and word was spreading like wildfire. Though it had only been a week, Shouko had arranged for an interview for me to do about my mother's death. I would have killed her but I did need to get out of Kyoto. Everything there just reminded me of her, made me think more, not that the interview would help any. But it was better that I got back to work, continued promotions of my latest single 'Trouble'. Some may think my getting back to work so soon meant that I was unable of feeling anything, that it was ridiculous, but that was just my way of cooping, of dealing. Working would help me forget everything.

"Who's pouting?" I asked her, sliding my hands into my pockets and allowing my face to return to it's usual "Fuwa Sho" state.

"You."

I ignored her.

"You've been acting weird lately. Frowning at nothing, throwing mini-tantrums and I know it isn't because of your mother," she continued, moving closer to me.

I turned my face away from her like a child, pouting at the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about Shouko. Just hurry up and finish so we can get out of here."

"It's Kyouko isn't it?"

"Who's Kyouko?" I asked blandly moving away from her and towards the door to leave. I didn't feel like talking about Kyouko, it would only send my blood pressure up and it was imperative that I didn't stress too much, its bad for my complexion.

Her hand latched around my wrist however, preventing me from going anywhere. "Look at me, Sho."

"What?" I snapped, turning to look at her and snatching my wrist away.

"You can talk to me. I'm here for you. You know that, ne?"

I stared down at her, watching her brown eyes as they searched mine for answers. I guess in some way she and I were friends, at least she tolerated me. But could I trust her? It was hard for me to open up to people, even those close to me - today it's still the same way. I couldn't quite bring myself to tell her that my head was spinning out of control because a certain ginger-haired female wouldn't stop avoiding me. How did I look tell her of my 'girl problems'? It was ludicrous that she even considered the idea that I might open up to her. The inner dwellings of my mind were mine and mine alone - I didn't want to share them.

"Whatever, just hurry up, okay? I'd like to get out of here soon."

She looked at me for a while before letting out a small sigh. "Hn."

That was all that was said between the two of us before I walked out of the room.

**xxx**

It had been a few days since I had left Kyoto. I said farewell to my father and even the annoying girl at the front desk, I hadn't bothered to say anything to Kyouko though. She wouldn't have anything to say to me anyway. I had just finished doing another interview - Shouko had obviously lied about there being only one - and was laying on the couch in my living room. For the sake of conversation, I will admit that I was watching TV that night - though the idea is still lame. I skipped through the channels, completely bored by what was showing up on the screen until an image of her flashed by. Quickly, I changed the channel back, my eyes studying her polite, yet sad expression.

"_There have been reports that you went to Kyoto recently - any chance you ran into Fuwa Sho?"_

She sat with her legs crossed on the couch of some talk-show host, smiling pleasantly. Her ginger hair was swept up into a bow shaped bun at the top of her head, a few rebel strands of hair framing her face. The make-up artist had done well with her face, I noted. She wore a beige skirt and white top, her tiny feet adorned a pair of skin toned pumps. Ordinarily that look would have seemed boring and plain but on Kyouko it seemed to fit.

"_I did. Actually he and I were together."_

I listened as the audience gasped and a small murmur of gossip began. Kyouko smiled at them and waved her hand a bit. "_It wasn't like that. Our reasons for being together were not romantic in nature. Actually, it was for a more sad reason."_

_"The death of his mother?"_

She seemed surprised that the host knew of my mother's death, her hazel eyes widening slightly.

_"Yes. I wasn't aware that the public knew of this already."_

_"Hn. All of Japan knows. We all feel for him. The death of one's mother is definitely devastating."_

Kyouko merely nodded her head, her eyes sad.

_"Question is, Kyouko-chan, how are _you _related to the death of Fuwa-san?"_

_"Sho and I are actually childhood friends."_

The audience gasped once again.

_"Wow, that's certainly unexpected. I'm guessing you were close to the family?"_

_"Hn. I lived with them for a time before moving to Tokyo."_

_"How proud they must be to have two stars from their home."_

Kyouko smiled pleasantly again. _"Hn. The death of oba-san has been hard on all of us. I was greatly saddened when I got the call from Oji-san."_

_"I can only imagine. How's Sho holding up?"_

_"He's strong. Growing up Sho was very close with his mother. It'll just take time for him."_

The host nodded her head, giving Kyouko a sympathetic smile.

I was slightly irritated to see her face. It irked me that she had no problem speaking with other people about me yet she couldn't bring herself to speak to me. Even worse, that woman was a complete stranger, an outsider. I could feel an irritated tick working in my jaw as I watched and listened to them as they continued to converse, moving on from the topic of my mother to the new drama she was promoting.

_"What's it like working with Tsuruga Ren?"_

_"It's nice. I learn a lot from him. I still feel like a rookie compared to him so it's nice to have someone show me the ropes."_

_"You two must be close, this is the second drama you've filmed together. You two also starred in a movie together as well."_

_"Hn. He's my senpai."_

The smile she wore when they began talking about Tsuruga was greatly annoying. I hated the fact that she was so close to him. I hated the fact that he had more of a chance with her than I did - despite the fact that the score was still me 1 and him 0. I felt like if she had the choice, she'd pick him over me. The idea of another man having her irritated me. I wanted the world to know that she was mine, even if she didn't know it, I wanted the world to know. I wanted them to respect the fact that she was property of Fuwa Sho. I wanted them to think twice before daring to touch her, especially men. I needed her to understand that no other man would do her better than me - that no one would ever be able to love her as much as I did. Of course then I didn't know that's how I felt. All I did know was that she was mine and she had better act like it.

I stood to my feet, entirely bored with the TV for now. Instead, I felt the urge to speak to her. I wanted to yell at her, to tell her to stop smiling when thinking of Tsuruga, to stop thinking of Tsuruga period. I wanted her to think of me and only me because I was the only thing that should have mattered to her. I took out my cell-phone and scrolled through the contacts only to find that I didn't have her number in there.

"Shit."

Of course I didn't have it, I never had a reason to talk to her before Kyoto happened. But that wasn't okay with me, I wasn't going to just give up like that. I needed to talk to her. I needed to see her. I had to let her know how I felt, that she was crazy if she thought this was over. Weren't girls supposed to be excited about kisses? Every girl I had ever kissed had clung to me afterwards but not Kyouko. No, not her. She didn't believe in normal, in fact she was a strong supporter of _ab_normal. How could she act as if the kiss between us hadn't happened? Like it didn't mean anything to her. I was so angry. I felt as if I could strangle her for ignoring me. How could she not understand? She who supposedly knew me best. How could she not know that she was mine?

* * *

**In response to what someone told me in a review: I too feel that the kiss acceptance was a bit soon, but for the sake of drama it needed to be done. Lol. Anyway, thanks so much for the reviews from last chapter. Keep them coming onegaishimasu! 3**


	4. Timeless

**_Hello! I'm sorry for the wait. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with this story for a really long time and I don't like posting without direction. A lot of my fanfiction has been put on hold for this reason. This story is one I'm now confident in and will continue to write it for as long as I'm comfortable with what I've thought up thus far. Anyway, please do enjoy this chapter._**

* * *

**Together Again**

_KawaiixKisses_

Timeless**  
**

* * *

**Shoutaro**

I can't tell you how many hours I spent brooding over Kyouko. No matter what I did my mind always went back to her and what had happened in Kyoto. She was taking over my thoughts and quite frankly it was starting piss me off. I wanted to talk her so badly that I'm actually embarrassed to admit it. Fuwa Sho was not desperate so no matter how badly I wanted to call her I would _not _ask around for her number. Looking back, my stubbornness to come out with how I felt was foolish. At the time I was mostly concerned about my image.

It's true that with Kyouko I could be myself a hundred percent. I didn't have to worry about her judging me or not thinking that I'm cool because she already knew the real me. There would be no fooling her so trying to put on my Fuwa Sho act for her would do me no good. Kyouko had always seen through me. With her I was safe. I was just too stupid to tell her myself. I didn't want to be the one to say it first. I wanted her to confess her feelings to me first before I allowed myself to be so vulnerable with her.

Kyouko however was probably feeling the same way. That or confused. I couldn't blame her for that though. Of course she wouldn't understand what was happening. Sure, she knew me best, but I had never acted that way towards her before. It was just irritating. I didn't want to work so hard for a woman. I had never done it before.

I had returned to work shortly after coming home from Kyoto. Shouko had told me that it was okay for me to take time off but I couldn't bare to be locked up in my apartment with my thoughts. I needed to be out in the world, living as I had before. Sitting alone wouldn't help me to get over anything I had been facing. Besides, I owed it to my fans. I didn't want to worry them. They were so devoted to me that sometimes it was a little scary, however I grateful nonetheless.

I sat in the studio one afternoon, drumming my pencil against a pad of paper. My band was playing on the other side of the room, guitars humming and the drums blaring. It was a catching tune, something I was sure I could make another club single to, something that would get people on their feet. The words simply weren't coming. I simply wasn't inspired. My mind only supplied me with thoughts and images of Kyouko and my mother. Writing about those two wouldn't make for a good party song, that was for sure. My hand began writing anyway, words flowing from my pencil and scribbling all over the note pad.

I stopped myself after a minute or so, looking down at what I had written. It was so sad and bitter – unlike anything I had ever written before. I wrote love songs before but this one was different from the others. This one felt more real, more like Fuwa Shoutaro and less like Fuwa Sho. I couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing at the time.

"Slow down the tempo," I said to them, waving my hand once.

The music stopped then started again, moving much slower than before.

"La dada dah dada dah dada dah dada…" I hummed softly, adding more words to what I had already written.

I found myself scribbling frantically as more and more thoughts filled my mind. I was so angry. So pissed. Pissed at Kyouko for ignoring me. Angry with my mother for leaving me behind. I realized that how I was feeling was unfair because I had ignored and left them behind first. I had pushed them away long before they had done the same to me. That didn't stop the flow of words however. I tore off the sheet and crumpled it up, earning myself a few questioning gazes from my band.

"Don't stop…" I said to them as I returned to the note pad.

Everything I had been feeling was coming out in the lyrics of the song. I wasn't sure where I was going with it and for once I wasn't concerned with it being a number one hit. I simply wanted it to be heard. I _needed _it to be heard. Secretly I wanted them all to see me, wanted Kyouko to see me. I wanted to put Fuwa Sho aside for a moment and allow the person I had been keeping locked up out for a bit.

"_And I'm trying to find you…" _I sang softly, scribbling the words down as they left my lips.

I bobbed my head in time to the beat, listening to the ups and downs in the music and fitting the words to it perfectly.

"_You won't come back either…" _

The words just kept flowing and flowing and in no time I had the first verse and the bridge in place. I wouldn't describe it was romantic and over dramatic as my other love songs went. I'm not sure I would describe it as a love song at all. It was just my feelings. My feelings about my mother and Kyouko. It went from sad and lonely to bitter and angry. I wasn't sure if it was something my fans would get, but it was worth a shot. I needed to know if Fuwa Shoutaro was accepted by my fans….by Kyouko. If not then the answer would be simple. I'd revert back to Fuwa Sho like the song never happened.

"_No more sweet smiles…"_

I could tell the band wasn't sure where I was taking it but they didn't stop. The words didn't seem to match the music but I was confident that after recording it everything would fall into place.

"_Dreams hold bitter memories and I wonder what it's like..._"

I was scratching out lines, rewriting them, adding them to different spots – my mind was completely absorbed in the song. My feelings were pouring out so strongly that I actually had to stop myself once or twice to look down at what I had written. This was definitely not the Fuwa Sho my fans were used to. This was not bubbly nor romantic in the normal since – it's romance was darker, sinister. The words were sarcastic in a way. It was almost as if I was mocking myself, contradicting previous thoughts and feelings and yet it all came together – at least to me it did.

I didn't bother to ask the band how they felt about the lyrics, not that I ever did, and stalked into the recording booth to test out the melody.

"Hikairu-san," I called to the guitarist as I opened the door to the booth. "Go into the other one and play the melody for me, I want to test the chorus."

The black haired woman nodded her heading, hopping from the stool as she made her way into the booth opposite of mine.

I watched her as she took her place on the stool behind the microphone and I did the same. The young woman lifted her red guitar and waited for me to signal to the producer that we were ready. I nodded my head and the round man who was in charge of producing my album and he quickly began to record us.

**Kyouko**

I was sure I wasn't the only one to notice it. Shoutaro had too many devoted fans for me to be the only person who recognized when his sound changed. I had been his biggest fan for the majority of his musical career, long before he had become a star. I knew the kinds of songs Shoutaro wrote and the themes he touched on frequently. This new piece was nothing like the man I had grown to know. At first I wasn't sure it was him. I thought it was another person copying his image like the Beagles had. However, the voice was just too close to Shoutaro's for it to not be him.

I was much later than most when it came to viewing the video however. I had been gone for a few weeks, shooting a movie in South Korea for my Asian debut when the single and MV came out. I was out of the loop for the first time and as I watched the video I couldn't help but feel even more distant from him than I ever had before.

Shoutaro was changing, that was for sure, and whether or not it was for the good or bad I was not certain. This new song was something unlike anything I had ever heard from him or any other artist for that matter. It was good, surprisingly so. Often time Shoutaro wrote of unrequited love and showcased and angsty part of himself in the MV and had always delivered. This MV however put the others to shame. Compared to this one he looked liked a second rate actor in the others whereas I could tell in this video his emotions were raw. This was Shoutaro. Not Fuwa Sho or _Showa _as his fans liked to refer to him as.

One thing I was positive was that no one else knew what the song was really about. For a long time I was in denial about it. I would not allow myself to believe that he had written that song in part for me. The song was about me. About _us. _About _our _unrequited love. It was the most genuine thing Shoutaro had ever written and his fans had picked up on it a while after I had.

Shoutaro was in love. His heart was broken. He was confused.

I did not allow myself to believe that all of those things were because of me. As far as I was concerned he and I lived separate lives. There was no reason for us to associate with each other outside of possible work, appearances and of course Oji-san. A part from all of that, there was nothing between us. There was nothing for us to talk about. Nothing for us to see each other for. I was determined to keep it that way as well. Whenever I could I would avoid events if I knew he would be attending and my presence wasn't needed for anything major.

Part of me knew that that song was his way of reaching out to me, of letting me know how he was feeling, and yet I could not bring myself to see him. Not after his album's launch party, not after the single's platinum declaration, not after the awards and press conferences. As far as I was concerned the song had nothing to do with me. Each time I saw his face on TV my heart tugged and it got to the point that I avoided watching TV all together. I didn't want to chance seeing those blue eyes of his that looked so sad nowadays.

I assured myself that this was only a phase – that after the promotion period for the single was over he would return to his usual Fuwa Sho self. I was right, however it took a while longer than I would have liked.

It was the first week in May and I was scheduled to make an appearance at the MTV Japan awards. I was not an artist so I couldn't see why they felt that I should present an award of any kind. I wouldn't have minded though had there not been a chance that Shoutaro would win the award. His song was a lot better and more popular than the others that were nominated for the award. I knew it, I was sure Shoutaro knew it and so did everyone else. Shoutaro was dominating that night, sweeping up award after award for his other singles that had been released earlier in the year. It would be no surprise to anyone if he won this award as well.

I sat in my dressing room backstage, the hair stylist sweeping my copper hair up in a ponytail before letting it drop down my shoulders. She ran her hand through it, rubbing my scalp a little and smiling at me in the mirror.

"Are you excited?" she asked me.

I returned her smile and avoided nodding my head.

"Hn. I like award shows. I was a little surprised when my manager told me they wanted me to present."

The older woman continued to smile. She wasn't that old, maybe in her mid-twenties or so, but she was still older than me.

"Must be easy since you're a celebrity…" she said offhandedly, adding a few loose curls to the back of my head.

"Hmm, what must be easy?"

"Meeting famous people. I always get so nervous even thought I've been in the profession for a long time," she answered me, setting down the curling iron and sweeping my hair up again.

I stared at her through the mirror. She was right in a sense. I wasn't as star struck as I used to be when I had first begun working in the industry. Now I saw everyone and while I was excited to meet them, I didn't fall all over myself like I used to. It was normal to me now.

"I get nervous too sometimes depending on who it is," I told her honestly.

She kissed her teeth. "You always seem so at ease with Tsuruga Ren."

I smiled. "He's my senpai."

"Some people are saying that you two are –"

A quick knock sounded at the door before it was pushed open.

"5 minutes until we need Kyouko backstage," one of the producers said.

The stylist nodded and the conversation between us ended. She pinned my hair up and I quickly hurried back to my spot behind the stage. The producer counted down and it wasn't long before I was hurried out and onto the stage where hundreds of people were watching me in the crowd and a million at home.

I smiled pleasantly at everyone as I walked to the center to the stage. There were cheers and claps from the audience and screams of adoration from those who loved me. I was wearing a navy blue chiffon mini dress with missing sleeves. On my feet were a pair of nude platforms that made me a few inches taller and succeeded in making my legs look impossibly long. I could see myself in the screen at the back of the auditorium.

"Since the dawn of time, men have been writing songs in hopes of wooing the women their hearts had grown attached to," I said into the microphone I was given backstage, a smile still present on my lips. "Of course that was when chivalry had not yet been deceased. These men however have not gotten the memo and are still singing the women they love. The nominees for 'Best Love Song by a Male are'…"

I turned from the crowd to look up at the screen where clips from music videos began playing.

"'Can't Wait for Tomorrow' – Asumiko Jun. 'Sun-kissed' – Fujimara Kumiru. 'Anata wo' – Yunoie. 'Timeless' Fuwa Sho. 'Hard To Give Up' – Yamanda Sai. Best Love Song by a Male," the voice from the screen listed the nominees, parts of their songs playing when their names were called.

The attention turned back to me as I began opening the red card in my hand. "The MTV award for 'Best Love Song by a Male' goes to….Fuwa Sho – 'Timeless'."

The crowed cheered and Shoutaro's video began playing in the background. People stood up from their seats and clapped loudly for him as he made his way down from the second row and onto the stage to accept his award. He was wearing a pair of white dress pants and a matching unbuttoned blazer with a black v-neck tucked neatly into his pants. Around his neck was a necklace I recognized to be his mother's – he probably took it from the Kyoto before he left. His hair was it's usual blond perfect mayhem and his clear blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of dark shades.

Even though his eyes were hidden I could tell he was looking at me. Intensely too. Goosebumps rose on my skin as he took the moon-man from me, his fingers casually brushing against mine. He said nothing at first and for a moment I wondered why until I realized he was waiting on me to hand him the microphone. I blushed out of embarrassment and awkwardly handed it to him, our fingers meeting yet again.

"Wow. First, I want to thank God and my fans for allowing me the opportunity to be here with you all tonight," he started off, looking down at his fourth moon-man of the night. "Of course I also want to thank the woman who inspired me to write the song in the first place. Without her the song wouldn't exist."

The audience awed him and I simply looked down at my feet. I couldn't bare the idea of looking at him now, however I could feel his eyes burning into my shoulder. I bit my tongue. Music began pumping into the auditorium and I followed him – as casually as I could – backstage. We walked in silence for what seemed like hours and surprisingly it was me who spoke first.

"Congratulations on tonight's victory," I said to him, trying to be as friendly as I could while keeping my voice low.

Shoutaro didn't say anything to me; he only kept walking in silence towards his dressing room. I stopped and watched as he continued on without me. My heart hammered in my chest as I watched him go and for a long while I stood there wanting to go after him. As much as I lied to everyone I couldn't lie to myself, although I had tried. I loved Shoutaro. Still. No other man could replace him it seemed. Even though everything had been so messed up between us I still had these insane feelings for him and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't making any sense. I knew that I wouldn't hate Shoutaro forever, but I hadn't expected to be in love with him still. I didn't want to be in love with a guy like Shoutaro but my heart didn't feel the need to listen to my brain. So I did what I had to do to forget about my heart's desire for Shoutaro because that was a wish that would never come true no matter how many shooting stars I prayed on. I had to find another. A decoy. A stand in.

**XXX**

**Timeless**

_So far away_

_Where are you now?_

_Lost is today_

_I don't know how_

_To come back home_

_And I'm trying to find you_

_But I don't know what to say_

_What should I do?_

_I'm trapped in yesterday_

_Timeless, oh timeless_

_I'm trapped in this mess_

_Timeless, oh timeless_

_I probably deserve it (for what I've done)_

_You won't come back either_

_You wouldn't dare_

_Said I don't love you, you said you don't neither _

_Well I don't care_

_Timeless, oh timeless_

**Shoutaro_  
_**

The tabloids had a field day exploiting Kyouko and my relationship or lack there of. Ever since Kyouko had told the truth about our past the public was eager to see us together doing anything. It was popular amongst younger fans that we should be a couple. Shoko, Fuwagami, Kyousho – just a few of the combination of names they had come up with to refer to us as. On one of my lazier days I found a few websites dedicated to our relationship. There were pictures of us all over it, some real, and some photoshopped to look real. Any other time I wouldn't have paid attention to the rumor unless it was with someone equally famous who would boost my reputation. Kyouko was probably just as famous as I was at the point and it was obvious that this would bring a lot of publicity for my new album but that didn't change the way I felt.

I didn't want the tabloids in our personal lives. Kyouko wasn't just some random celebrity who I was only mildly interested in. She wasn't someone I thought would look good on my arm at an awards show. Kyouko was unlike any of those other women. I was slowly becoming more and more irritated by the entire situation between Kyouko and myself.

I wondered what would have happened had things been different – had _I _been different. We would have probably ended up together like my parents so desperately wanted, like I had so desperately _not _wanted. I would havegrown even more attached to her as time went on. However, it was because of the way things played out that these feelings began to develop. It was because I pushed her away that she changed into the person I could not forget. She was someone that no matter how hard I tried I could not stop thinking about. Kyouko would always be apart of me and I was beginning to think that no other woman would be able to make me feel the way she did. Not that I was looking for love or a relationship at the time. I would have been just fine being single however, these feelings that kept me thinking of the red-head would not allow for me to be satisfied being alone.

I didn't know what to do. I was running around in circles basically, unsure of what to do with myself and these feelings of mine. I knew Kyouko still loved me, if she didn't she wouldn't have kissed me back. Right? She kissed me back so that had to mean something. That meant I had a chance. How to go about taking that chance was foreign to me. I never had to work that hard for a woman before and I didn't even know how to start.

How did Kyouko like to be treated by men? I wasn't sure if the same way I had been treating them would work with Kyouko. I was nice and sweet, caring and gentle. I was the perfect gentleman. Kyouko was so backwards that she'd probably wouldn't be into that sort of thing. Vaguely I wondered if she was still into fairytales. The Kyouko I remembered was always going on and on about princes and princesses and living happily ever after. I doubted the Kyouko now still believed in all that junk. I crushed that dream of hers the day I broke her heart. This Kyouko was someone different from the one I grew up with. Someone who I wasn't sure how to deal with.

"Shoutaro."

I looked up from my computer screen, pulled from my thoughts by my blonde haired manager. She stared at me from behind her glasses, a worried expression etched on her face.

"You haven't been yourself lately," she said to me, placing down a can of soda on the desk for me.

I watched as she cracked hers open before returning my attention the computer once more. "I'm fine."

"Good. You have a meeting today for a possible part in a drama."

"I don't act," I responded, clicking off of the fansite.

"Not yet. You're already big but you could be bigger. Staring in a drama could help boost your status with your fans."

"Hn."

I wasn't exactly interested in being in a drama. My life was music; acting was something hadn't even considered to be honest. A lot of pop stars made cameos or started in dramas and movies as a way of being a multi-threat. The way I saw it I was a big enough threat in the music industry, so much so that my influence played across different scopes of show-biz. I didn't need to be in a drama in order to boost my stardom because it was already defined. My last single was proof of that.

"Give it a chance, that's all I'm saying," Shouko said to me.

I shrugged my shoulders and sat back in my chair. I didn't have anything else to do really and it wasn't like being in the drama would take away from my music in the slightest.

"Whatever."

Little did I know was that staring in that drama would be either the biggest mistake of my life or the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.

* * *

_Alright guys, for the sake of the story let's pretend my song was the best song you all have ever heard! I know it's crap but... I couldn't leave that empty you know, I had to put something... Lmao I'm not the best at writing songs as you all can see, it's not really my thing. Anyway, leave a review onegaishimasu! I don't want to threaten anyone but without reviews I won't think anyone likes the story and so I won't update. You want that update? Leave me something :D_


	5. Unbearable

**_Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I can't believe this story is a year old. Tomorrow is it's birthday! Ah! Seems like just yesterday this plot hatched. Mmmmm... good times. Anyway, read, enjoy and review. You know the drill!_**

* * *

**Together Again**

_KawaiixKisses_

Unbearable

* * *

**Kyouko**

It was like, no matter what I did...he was there. Why now that I was so desperately trying to escape him did he appear in front of me? Couldn't he see that I was done here? That I wanted no parts in the train-wreck of a man that was Fuwa Shoutaro? I loved him once but that was long ago? So long ago...

I had been chewing my lower lip for the better part of an hour, only half way listening to the conversation that was happening around me. My attention was elsewhere – on Shoutaro. He was sitting across from me, a few seats from my left, his blue eyes trained on the director as he spoke. I couldn't keep from glancing at him every once in a while, noting how his blonde hair had grown out slightly, how his lips would twitch every now and then. He was to star along side me in a new drama, a supporting role but still a main character.

"I'm so glad you all agreed to do the drama," the director, Harujima Hedeki, said.

I forced myself to refocus my attention on the middle-aged man, it wouldn't look good if I was caught Seiichi (an average sized male with shoulder length black hair and even blacker eyes) and finally Fuwa Shoutaro. I swallowed.

The story was of a deadly romance between two cousins, Saito Machi and Saito Masahiro, who begin a romantic relationship during their second year of high school. During childhood, the two often spent their summers together at their grandmother's home in the country and that's where their feelings for one another began to blossom. At first it was innocent and continued on that way until Masahiro confessed his feelings for his cousin who felt the same way for him. The Saito cousins knew that they could never be together in public and so hid their relationship from everyone. In comes Takahashi Shin, popular, class president and beyond rich. Shin takes notice of Machi, who is a year younger than him, and develops feelings for her. Shin is confused as to why Machi doesn't return his feelings and begins to suspect that something weird is going on between her and Masahiro. Shin black mails Machi when he finds out that what he suspects is true and forces her to date him and ignore her cousin. Masahiro becomes extremely jealous and ends up killing Shin. The two cousins are faced with hiding the death which in turn brings them closer together.

The story was unlike any other I had played, but I was confident that I could pull it off effortlessly. Opposite me was a well known actor, Murasame Taira. I knew him from a project I helped Ren with but we were never _really_ introduced – he knew me by another name. That's another story however.

I was most confident that with Murasame and myself as the leads, that the drama would be a complete success. I had seen him work with Ren and he was a splendid actor, a little brash but still good at his job. I wasn't too sure about the rookies however, it could go either way with them to be honest. I remember when I was the one being called a rookie, it seems like it was so long ago. With that in mind I decided to trust them – you never know what a person is capable of.

"Kyouko-chan, do you have anything that you'd like to say?" Hedeki's voice asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I blinked a couple of times before turning my attention to him. With a smile, I looked around the room at all the actors. "I hope to have fun with everyone and make a great drama."

A few people smiled at me in return, mostly the rookies, all except for Sho. I still couldn't figure out why he was there. It's true that lots of people in the biz switched up every now and then – actors to singers and singers to actors – but Sho had never shown much interest in acting. It was widely known that Sho didn't even watch TV, only few people knew it was a lie, but nevertheless, wouldn't fans find it weird for him to be in a drama?

"Alright. Lets read through some lines," Hedeki suggested.

The more experienced actors, and Sho, pulled out their scripts while the rookies all looked rather nervous.

"No pressure," he assured them, to which they all relaxed considerably and followed suit, pulling out their scripts.

"Now I know you all are dying with curiousity so I'll tell you now what your roles will be," Hedeki said as the rest of us opened up to the first page. "It should be a no-brainer that Kyouko-chan and Murasame-kun will play the 'Saito' cousins. Fuwa-san, I want you to play Takahashi Shin; we're counting on you."

I looked up from the script, my eyes falling on Shoutaro. He was nodding his head, accepting the role, his expression neutral. I still couldn't figure out why he would agree to do a drama. Didn't he have promoting to do for his new song? It wasn't like he was on break why he had taken up the drama, his schedule with filming would often conflict with promoting his single of course...didn't he know that? So then why? Was he here to annoy me? To get under my skin? Hadn't I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with him?

"Lets start with scene 3. More of you are in it so everyone will be able to participate," Hedeki suggested and we all nodded our heads.

We ran through the scene a couple of times, everyone was starting to digest their characters and get a feel for them. I personally, loved Machi. She was in love with a man that she had no business loving and because of that she was hurt. I had heard stories of cousins who fall in love but I had never thought that I would actually get a chance to bring that kind of story to life. After reading through the script, I felt for the people so unfortunate as to love someone in their family. It was a painful love.

"Kyouko-chan!"

I had been walking into the break room for lunch when a feminine voice called my name. When I turned, I found Kichida Mana jogging up to me. I smiled at her and she returned the actions, tucking a lock of long blonde hair behind her ear.

"Kichida-san."

The blonde blushed furiously, embarrassed no doubt. "Call me, Mana," she told me, "please."

I smiled and tried it out, earning myself a smile from her. "Mana-san."

"Is it alright if we eat together? I don't really know any of the other actors, n-not that I know you either," she said nervously. "You just...seem nicer."

"Mm? Of course," I answered, smiling politely. "I was just getting ready to start."

Mana smiled happily. She was a pretty girl, far prettier than me, with long legs and arms. She wore a gray tank top with a pocket on it's left side, a black star sewn onto it, and a pair of acid washed shorts. Her blonde hair was parted on the left and curled loosely. She looked more casual than I did. That day I decided on a high wasted yellow skirt and a thin, pale pink shirt tucked neatly into it – my hair was it's usual mess.

I opened the door to the break room, feeling somewhat inadequate compared to the girl behind me. A small sigh escaped my lips. Little did I know, I had bigger things to worry about other than being shorter than the girl behind me.

* * *

**Shoutaro **

The room felt smaller the moment she walked in.

She was looking at me like a cat caught stealing the canary, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. I might had laughed had I been anyone else. At first I was surprised to see her there – I figured she'd be ignoring me the entire time we worked together, the only communicating we would do would be through our characters. When I noticed the bento box she had been carrying it hit me that she wasn't exactly looking for me.

"Mana-san, lets go eat some place else, ne? Fuwa-san looks busy," she said to the blonde who stood behind her.

I watched as the blonde gave her an odd look before her hazel eyes fell on me. "Fuwa-san."

I arched an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Sho-chan!" the blonde exclaimed.

Inwardly, I cringed. Fan girls had become less appealing since my trip to Kyoto. None of them were anything like the girl I wanted. Kyouko would never behave like some mindless bimbo, clinging to a man just because they had seen him on TV. While at one point, it was fun to play with them, now they were just annoying. Of course, I did appreciate them, without them I wouldn't have been where I was or where I am now, I was simply growing tired of them crowding around me. I especially didn't want the attention while Kyouko was around.

The blonde climbed into the seat beside me and latched herself onto my arm. "It's really you! I was trying so hard before to be calm but now that we're not working it's different!" the blonde told me.

"Mana-san..." Kyouko chided playfully, a strained look on her face.

I watched as she sighed briefly before pulling out the seat across from this 'Mana'.

"Sho-chan has never done a drama right?" Mana asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Nope," I answered, folding my arms across my chest. Mana didn't take the hint of course and tightened her grip on me.

Apparently I had made a mistake thinking that the setting would have been more professional. Fan girls were fan girls no matter what it seemed.

"Me either. Maybe we can help each other?"

Great.

"Maybe."

From the other side of the table, the woman I had been so desperate to see, snorted. Mana was to wrapped up in me to notice of course. I looked to Kyouko, noting the sour face she was making at her bento box. I knew for a fact that it wasn't because of her food, Kyouko always cooked amazing meals.

"What's your problem?" I asked her.

"Eh?" Mana answered, confused no doubt.

"Not you. You."

Kyouko looked up then, her hazel eyes trained on mine. I grit my teeth at her expression – her death glare was vicious.

"What's _your _problem?" she spat, lifting a bit of sushi to her lips, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Mana looked between the two of us, her expression troubled. "Kyouko-chan... are you okay?"

I watched as she turned her attention to the blonde at my side and smiled pleasantly, her eyes sparkling with warmth and kindness. It was scary, really.

"Hn. I think you should stay away from Fuwa-san – he's not very nice."

I gaped at her. She couldn't have been serious. Mana must have been thinking the same way for she responded with:

"Eh? Sho-chan is super nice, Kyouko-chan."

Kyouko only continued to smile that creepy, fake happy, smile. "Oh, I think I know a bit more than you."

"How? Kyouko-chan is an actress and Sho-chan is a singer..."

I looked down at the girl beside me. She was very out of tune with the biz. It was common knowledge now that the two of them shared a past. It would have been different if she had been in the biz for quite some times, a lot of stars didn't pay much attention to tabloids unless it had something to do with them, but as a newcomer, it was odd that she had no knowledge of them.

Kyouko must have been thinking that same thing since she only stared at the girl. "Mana-san..."

"Don't be mean to Sho-chan, Kyouko-chan," Mana chided, pouting a little.

"Tch."

I couldn't help myself and smirked. At last I had someone on my side for once. Everyone always sided with Kyouko. True, what I did to her was really shitty, but I was trying to make up for all that – didn't that count for anything? I wanted to make things better between us but that seemed to be impossible with Kyouko throwing up any and every wall that she could to keep me away from her.

"Oh, everyone is here," came a voice suddenly.

The three of us looked up and I recognized the man to be Sato Ichiro, the redhead. He smiled brightly and sauntered in, followed by Kobayashi Seiichi and Murasame Taira.

"Kyouko-chan," Murasame greeted her casually as he walked into the room.

I watched her smile genuinely as he pulled out the seat beside her.

"Murasame-san," she said, continuing to smile at him. "I was wondering when I'd get a chance to talk to you."

The dark haired male smiled at her as the others gathered into the rest of the seats at our table. It's funny how I went there to be alone and brood to myself and everyone else decides it's a cool place to hangout suddenly. I sank back in my chair.

"Ah. Well I'm here now," he said to her, offering her a smile, his eyes studying her face.

I knew that look. He was giving her _that_ look! I knew what that look meant, I had used in on women plenty of times. He wanted to get into her pants, there was no doubt in my mind about it. I knew that Kyouko would never succumb to whatever advances he might make, but it still pissed me off that he might try. Kyouko was mine, whether she wanted to acknowledge that was her business, however, the fact still remained that she was mine. No one else had any business giving her "looks".

The only thing about that was I couldn't actually _say_ that. What good would it be if the world knew I wanted Kyouko but she didn't want me? _Me_. Fuwa Sho. It wouldn't make either of us look good. So instead of telling that Murasame character to get lost, I clenched my teeth together, shooting death glares his way as a conversation erupted between them.

"I was excited when I heard I'd be working with you," Kyouko said to him, smiling that stupid, innocent smile of hers.

"Yeah? I felt the same. You were really amazing in _Dark Moon_," he commented. "_Seikai _has to be my favorite from you though."

I wanted to throw up. He was so _obvious_ that it was making me sick. I turned my gaze onto Kyouko and she was just eating it all up, smiling like an idiot.

"Really? I haven't seen too many of your dramas, but I _do _like the one you were in with Tsuruga-sempai."

Tsuruga Ren. It always came back to him. Every time. She had chosen him over me countless times – each time more painful than the last. What was so good about Tsuruga anyway? Sure, he was an A-list actor and charming and all that shit, but _I _knew her best. I knew who she was, who she had been and who she had the potential to be. I understood her better than anyone else and she me. There weren't two people who were more for on another than she and I. Tsuruga was merely a distraction from all that...

"Ah. Tsuruga-san is pretty impressive, I had no idea he was Cain Heel – I never would have thought," the male mentioned.

I watched as the woman I loved smiled – a true smile – while thinking of another man. "Yeah."

"I wish _I _could meet Tsuruga-san," the blonde who clutched my arm whined.

The three of us looked to her and she continued. "I'm apart of LME just like Kyouko-chan but I haven't had the chance to meetTsuruga-san... or even see him."

"Tsuruga-sempai is very busy," Kyouko chimed in. "He's currently on location."

"Yeah?" Mana asked, her face turning up into a smile. "He's filming?"

I watched as Kyouko nodded her head, smiling happily. "He's working on a new movie – _Oceans_."

I sucked my teeth. Who cared about whatever movie he was staring in?

"_Kyouko-chan_ must know _everything _about Tsuruga-san... huh?" I found myself asking, my voice icy.

She looked at me, a bit startled by my words apparently because her eyebrows climbed her forehead. Her hazel eyes were wide, staring me down in disbelief. I watched as her gaze lowered and she caught her bottom lip between her teeth, but I ignored it.

"Eh? Is Kyouko-chan close with Tsuruga-san?" Mana asked, looking between the two of us.

"Oh yes," I answered for her. "Best friend's I'd say."

Kyouko only continued to look down.

"Really? That's so awesome! Lucky!" Mana commented, smiling innocently, blind to my motives.

"Mhm. He even showed her the ropes, taught her everything she knows..."

Mana only listened in awe as I wounded the woman I loved so much. At the time, I didn't know it, but apparently something had changed between her and Tsuruga. There was no smile when I mentioned his name, no glint in her eyes. All I saw now was deep sadness and shame. That didn't stop me though.

"I'm surprised though... at one point she hadn't even _liked _him – now they're as thick as thieves," I continued on, narrowing my eyes at her.

"You don't know anything," she finally snapped, standing up from her seat and staring me dead in the eye.

The room was silent for a long while, the two of us staring at one another and the others watching us.

"Tch," I sucked my teeth – I was the one to look away first.

Apparently her triumph in our little staring contest gave her the courage to speak up because she didn't let me off that easily.

"Why don't you just tell me why you're _really _mad, Shoutaro? Ne? Tell me what's got you acting so shamelessly," she hissed.

I found myself standing up as well, shooting her with one of my own irritated glares. "You're annoying, that's why I'm _'really' _mad."

"Tuh! You're just jealous!" she seethed.

"Of what?"

"Of Tsuruga-san's success. You can't handle it."

"I don't give a _fuck _about that bastard," I spat.

Her thin brows crunched together. "Liar."

She was right. I was a liar. I _was _jealous of him, but not of his success, not anymore. He had something I wanted. It wasn't the fame, it wasn't the fans – I had my own. He possessed something that I felt had been rightfully mine. Kyouko. He had her in a way that I never would. I had it once, but it was gone now because of my own stupidity.

"You think I'm lying?" I asked her, my voice low. "I guess you never really knew me..."

Her eyes widened and she took a step back. I watched as she relaxed her shoulders and looked down at her feet.

"That's the problem," she said softly. "I _do _know you... but I wish I didn't."

Her words hit me like a fist to my jaw – unexpected. She wounded me deeply. How could she say that to me? _Me _of all people. Didn't she know what she meant to me? How much I loved her? Didn't she get that I needed her? That she was the only person worth living for? What else did I have besides her? How could she...?

My mouth opened, then closed a few times, but no words came out. I couldn't think of anything to say to her after that. What was there left to say? I had been real shitty to her, but I hadn't expected her to ever feel that way. Even when she claimed to hate me – swore her vengeance on me – I never expected her to say something like that.

"I guess we're both unfortunate then..." I said, my voice low.

I didn't bother waiting for a response from her – I left. I couldn't be in the same room with her at that moment.

* * *

**Kyouko**

I watched him leave, my heart heavy and bitter. What made him think he had the right to say those things to me? About me? Who was he to pass judgment especially when he knew nothing of Ren and me?

I sat down in my chair, silently staring at my hands before I decided I couldn't be in that room anymore with all those people staring at me. I stood up again, running my fingers through my hair as I walked out, forgetting all about my lunch. I walked out of the building and out back to the alley, setting myself down on a crate by the wall.

"Shoutaro.. idiot."

I could feel the tears building up in the back of my eyes, burning me and threatening to spill down my face. I forced them back however, convincing myself that Shoutaro wasn't worth my tears anymore. What really hurt is that he brought up Ren – the very Ren who hadn't spoken to me in so long. After I told him that I couldn't return his feelings, he had decided that it was best that we didn't see each other anymore – he wanted nothing to do with me. He had told me that with the way he loved me he could never be my friend, not like how I wanted him to be. He couldn't _bare _to be around me.

I missed him.

Shoutaro had just threw it in my face that I had ruined my chance at being with a guy who would be good to me. Ren would have taken care of my heart and saw to it that I never be hurt again. He would have kept me safe from the likes of Shoutaro who seemed only to appear when he needed to crush me once more. I ruined all of that. And for what?

All for a man who had no idea how to love me. Shoutaro knew nothing of my heart. He didn't _understand _it – but I wanted him to. God, I wanted him to. I wanted him to be the one to hold my heart, to keep it safe. He didn't know how to. He was so confused with his own feelings that he could barely understand mine. But how could that be when he knew me best?

He knew the Kyouko that Ren did not and still... he didn't know how to treat me. He didn't know what to do with me. He was... he was...

"Idiot..." I whispered, hot tears spilling out of my eyes.

"Kyouko-chan?" a voice called out to me.

I looked up quickly, rubbing the tears from my eyes and straightening my slouched back. "Murasame-kun."

He smiled at me, worriedly, sitting himself on the crate beside me.

"You want to hear a dumb question?" he asked me.

I was silent for a long while, looking down at my folded hands on my lap before nodding my head slowly. "Hn."

"Are you alright?"

"Tch..." I kissed my teeth, smiling bitterly. "You're right... that was a stupid question."

I was so distraught that I hadn't even bothered with minding my manners.

"I know."

It was silent between us for a long while before he spoke again. "What was that in there?" he asked me.

I nibbled my bottom lip gently before kissing my teeth again and leaning back against the wall behind me.

"We have history... Shoutaro and I," I told him.

"I know. Everyone knows..."

"Hn. 'Childhood friends'. We were more than that," I continued.

Murasame nodded his head slowly, understanding what I meant by that. He remained quiet, allowing me to pour out my heart to him. I told him everything, from the very beginning and he listened to me. I don't why, but it was comfortable telling him the truth. From my mother, to Shoutaro to Ren. Everything. He listened quietly, no judgment or anything like that. It felt good to say it out loud for once.

"I loved him." I said finally.

Murasame nodded. "You still do."

I was silent for a long while. "Yeah."

* * *

_I hope everyone enjoyed the anniversary chapter, I enjoyed writing it. Leave me a review onegaishimasu _


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